As was mentioned in the article “Relationships – A Key Aspect of Life”, relationships are very important to us. They’re the cornerstone upon which society is built. Empires for example, have stood, or fallen, based upon the strength of the fabric of their society. The Roman Empire is a classic example of that!

Because relationships play such an important role in life, we return to that topic again in this article.

Now, with the best will in the world, husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, friends, relatives, family, and co-workers will, from time to time, experience difficulties in their interactions with each other.

What we want to consider in this article, is why difficulties can sometimes arise, what can cause them, how that is manifested, and finally, what positive steps can be taken to correct difficulties, and why immediate action is important.

Let’s take our first point: Why can difficulties sometimes arise between people? There are a variety of reasons as to why problems can exist at times. Some of these could include:

• Attitudes
• Egos
• Social status
• Education
• Misunderstandings
• Race or Ethnic origins

These in turn, can then become manifest, through harsh or cruel words to someone we feel is either beneath us, or inferior to us. It could be through gossip in the workplace, because some information as been passed around about an imagined situation that has no substance of truth to it. Therefore giving rise to misunderstandings,which can harm reputations, that can then lead to strained relations if the matter is left unresolved.

Another reason for people problems, could be that a person has got something on their mind, and it is affecting how they interact with others, either at home or work.

Something could be happening in their personal life, that we’re not aware of, which could be creating a temporary problem. If we know the person fairly well, say in the workplace or home, and they’re usually known for being able to get along with others, then we can try to accommodate them. All of us at times have our “off” days.

But regardless of where we might experience difficulties from time to time, what is the solution?

In any people problems we may experience, our first aim, is to win the peace, and win the person! Peaceful relations whether at home, or in the workplace, are the key consideration.

So, what about in the home? What should we do if a problem arises there?

If it’s a husband and wife issue – face it, and talk about it. There’s an ancient saying, that you should “make your peace before the sunsets.” Always make your peace with each other before the next day. Never let a problem roll over to the next day.

What if you have a problem with someone at work? If the problem is not too serious, and does not require intervention from a member of management, go directly to the person you have a difference or misunderstanding with. It takes courage and maturity to do this. But if you go running to your supervisor or manager over a petty matter that you could resolve, that can create more problems. Here’s why.

First, it would demonstrate that you’re not mature enough to resolve your own issues. Second, it will cause resentment between colleagues. And it will make you appear childish. Thirdly, management should have more important things to do, than resolve the petty, minor issues of their staff! If they jump in at every staff issue, they’re not managers, they’ve become child-minders! Instead, if you go directly to the person in question, you may just find that they will respect you more for it!

Now, what are the dangers if you were to avoid settling difficulties quickly?

If issues are not dealt with quickly, then this could lead to:

• Strained relationships, in the home or workplace, depending on where the problem exists
• If in the workplace,it would have a negative effect upon the workforce
• It would result in bad or hurt feelings
• Could harm a persons reputation
• It would most certainly prolong the problem

Difficulties will arise from time to time, that’s the reality of life and people. But if we’re willing and prepared to deal with such challenges, any that should arise, will be dealt with swiftly and effectively, then any and all relationships will come through those difficulties intact!

Do you work with, or know of someone who always displays the same joyful outlook on life whenever you see or meet this person? They have a ready-smile, a cheery word, something positive to say, a calm demeanor.

You might be forgiven for thinking we are referring to a fictional or perfect person. But we’re not. These people really do exist – and on this planet too!

What you are witnessing, when you meet these people, is the manifestation of joy, or the quality or condition of happiness and contentment.

What do we mean by the terms joy, happiness and contentment?

Well, happiness is a feeling, a showing or expressing of joy. Contentment on the other hand, is a mental or emotional condition. It’s when a person is satisfied with things as they are. It’s a peace of mind, a mental or emotional satisfaction. It must be said right away though, when we say a person is satisfied with things as they are, that it’s not to be confused with thinking a person as resigned themselves to be content with the way things are in their lives, because they feel powerless to make things better. These are two very different, and opposed approaches to life.

Someone who resigns themself into believing their lives will never alter, have resigned or given up on life. And they have not only given up on life, they’ve also given up on themselves.

How then, does a person achieve joy or happiness? Good question.

If I were to ask the public that question, there would be many and varied replies. Many would be led to believe that money brings happiness. Others would say the acquiring of material possessions leads to happiness. Still others would say getting a good education and career brings them untold happiness.

If you were to ask John Paul Getty, were he alive today whether money brought happiness, his reply would be: “unhappiness rather than happiness, is more akin to having wealth.” And that kind of comment would come from a man, who at the time, was the worlds richest man!

Think then for a moment about your own life. What events or situations have brought you the most happiness? Have any of your most happy times had anything to do with wealth or possessions? Or rather, have they not had more to do with people – family, friends, relatives?

The most contentment and happiness we all probably have experienced at times in our lives, has had more to do with people and relationships, rather than with money or things! Again, we are not saying that money and possessions are irrelevant. What we are saying, is it’s what matters most, and what leads to real happiness that’s important.

You probably know of people who have little in the way of money or possessions, yet they are among some of the happiest people you could ever know. They are not forever striving for the next best thing – which tomorrow will not be the next best thing, because the next best thing is already out of date!

We can achieve happiness, it just depends upon your interpretation of what makes you happy. It’s good to be reasonable too when it comes to happiness. Happiness is not a feeling we have 24/7. Happiness is connected with specific situations and experiences we have. We can’t always be walking around with a smile on our face. People would tend to think we were on something! Or they would think we were just “happy-go-lucky” people, going through life without a care or sense of responsibility.

Finally, happiness can be maintained if we have a balanced and reasonable view of life, ourselves, and others. Abraham Lincoln once said: “We are as happy as we make up our minds to be.” Are you a happy person?